Happy Wednesday that feels like a Tuesday because Monday was a holiday!! I hope if you are reading this you know that the Perfect Parenting title is being used for pure P alliteration and I don't think we are perfect. Yesterday I wrote a post and after I re-read it I thought it sounded a little preachy so I decided to take it down. I think at the exact same moment that I hit the "unpublish" button I received a text from Jesse, who was on his way to work, that said, "I like today's post!" so I thought about it all day and then republished it last night. It is about baby sleep and I really didn't want to seem like I know everything but I thought it would be good to share so I can go back and reference it later.
I also mentioned this yesterday but I love seeing all of the weddings and babies in my newsfeed, but at the same time it really makes me pause and think about what and why and how and when to share photos of Lillian.
Few know this story and I think it is worth sharing as I reflect on this aspect of parenthood. When I was in college at the University of San Diego I went to visit one of my best friends Andie at USC. We were in her apartment and she showed me this new website, The Facebook. I will never forget seeing it and thinking OMG this is big. This is really big. I instantly got it. I knew that it was going to be awesome and life changing. I am not kidding and I'm also not exaggerating how quickly I saw how impactful this thing "The Facebook" could be. But remember when Facebook was only open to those with a college email account? But there was a link on www.thefacebook.com where you could submit a request to have your school added to the network. Well, everyone from USD doesn't know it but they can thank me for single-handedly bringing Facebook to the Toreros. I requested and requested and requested and requested. We finally got accepted and we were in business!! Well, then I took it upon myself to make sure all of the schools in the WCC (west coast conference) were in it- USF, Gonzaga, St. Mary's, Santa Clara, etc., etc. (It is this story and this insight that makes me feel like I should be an angel investor, but more on that at a later date).
So what does this have to do with my daughter Little Miss Lillian? As much as I knew The Facebook was going to big, I could not have pictured that one day I would be contemplating my daugther's privacy and social media presence. Whether you like it or not Facebook has changed the world. As someone who loves meeting new people, I like that I can stay in touch, build a friendship, and learn more about them. While I used to love seeing the albums upon albums friends would post of their weekends in college (said somewhat sarcastically), I much prefer seeing friends' photos of travels, weddings, new babies, first homes, and more. I really do love it.
I've always thought that Twitter is used to bitch, Instagram is used to brag, and Facebook is used to celebrate. Or maybe that's just how I use them ;) So with this attitude why does posting a photo of Lillian on Facebook give me pause? I thought a lot about it and I couldn't really come up with a clear and simple answer. Doesn't it seem a little unfair for me to consume other's photos and not share some of us? I go back and forth about sharing photos on Facebook because it's pushed into your feed, rather than this blog where you make a choice to click the link and read.
I truly think of my daughter as a person. Not just a baby. We all know what it's like to be at that party with the camera happy snapper who takes lots of photos and always posts the one of you with your eyes closed (we've all been both people in that scenario). I wonder who owns the rights to whether or not that photo is posted- them or you? When I think about Lillian I have to ask myself is it fair to put her photo on Facebook for anyone and everyone to see. Also, I can't deny the strong feeling and possibility that some oddball might take her photo and use it to catfish another baby into being friends. I mean, are we going to be able to see baby photos from Facebook of our future president? Will all mystery and privacy be gone??
When I start thinking about my daughter's privacy I often find myself with more questions than answers. While I rarely minded sharing photos of myself, it feels really different to share photos of Lillian all the time. I would love to hear from other people regarding their thoughts on the matter. How do you choose what and when you share? I look forward to this dialogue!!! Thanks so much!
I have more thoughts on the matter but right now I have to go snuggle Lillian.